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Imagining a zany list of gift ideas for another year

Let’s make Christmas cool again, as it comes near

Sitting here tonight in Ohio’s Buckeye land

Not too certain about Santa’s helping hand

Hoping that special gifts will await under the tree

Thinking that “some” might be pleasing for thee

A self-stirring coffee mug looks quite neat

Stirring my cup o’ Joe will be an easy feat

Christmas tea bags offer a fresh twist

Leaving my cup filled with a tasty mist

Is that Darth Vader defending the door?

Inflating him brings fear and much more

I’m not really into checking Twitter most of the time

Looking at a set of framed tweets, could be just fine

My stocking might be filled with a hockey stick snow brush

Cheering for my beloved Blue Jackets on the ice is a must

Someone spies a cassette tape collection of familiar songs

Wondering where to find a cassette player that is long gone

Golf ball finder glasses will most likely do the trick

Searching for each wayward shot in rough so thick

My daughter tempts me with chocolate Brussel sprouts

Wishing for “just” the sweet chocolate, leaves no doubt

A senior moment’s memory workout DVD should be slick

Keeping my brain’s recall functioning, makes a great gift

Coffee drinking in the morning, wine sipping late at night

Using a “Flip Over” glass, makes switching work just right

Last of all, needing to conceal every doughnut so sweet

Receiving a doughnut mug may hide it—isn’t this neat!

Warming myself in front of a blazing fire this cold night

Hoping that another lump of coal, will never be in sight