Changing Times

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Good morning neighbor!  I’ve been struggling with this rapidly changing world of ours.  So, I hope you are doing better than me.

I have been deeply pondering the way words keep changing in meaning.  If it is hard for me to understand, just imagine how Merriam and Webster are doing.

ZOOM used to refer to a camera lens moving in for a close-up.  Now . . . it refers to some type of online meeting.  Since I don’t have one of them fancy phones, I guess no will invite me to attend.

HOARDERS used to refer to people who collected everything under the sun as they filled up their basements, garages, and sheds with memories and junk.  Now . . . it refers to anyone who creates a home warehouse for toilet paper, hand sanitizer, and disinfectants.  Now I know why Bobby always has his garage door closed.

CASH used to refer to a time when we paid for things with currency, you know, the green stuff.  Now . . . who can even remember the image on a $10 bill or a $20 bill?

FACE MASK used to refer to a part of an American football player’s helmet.  Now . . . it refers to a way to protect yourself and show love to your neighbor at the same time.  Hmm, are you on the same page with me?  How do I look?

WHOPPER used to refer to one of the biggest and grandest of the burger world (and you could have it your way).  Now . . . it refers to a “meatless” burger.  Can you hear Clara Peller (from a competitor’s old TV commercial) shouting, “Where’s the beef?”

SOCIAL DISTANCING used to refer to the proper distance between a boy and a girl at a middle school dance.  Now . . . it refers to a way to stay healthy and safe.  I guess I’m all in with this new logic.  How about you?

CURBSIDE PICKUP used to refer to a trash truck picking up some oversized items in the neighborhood.  Now . . . it refers to a new way to buy groceries, without ever entering the store.  Hmm, I hope the store’s gopher didn’t squeeze the Charmin (God Bless Mr. Whipple).

Now before I go, will you help me understand one more new word, VIRTUAL?  We never witnessed this word much in the 20th Century, but now it is mentioned with everything . . . online classrooms, work from home, political campaigns, and even vacations. 

These changing times are almost too much for a man of my age to fully understand.  Well, I guess I can always rely on my grandchildren for some help.  They don’t think I’m “over the hill” quite yet.

In all seriousness, I encourage all of us to be safe and stay as healthy as possible.  Remember to wash your hands, wear a mask, and practice social distancing. 

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Charles Swindoll Quote

yellow plush toy

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Personally, I think a healthy sense of humor is determined by at least three abilities:

  • The ability to laugh at our mistakes
  • The ability to accept justified criticism–and get over it
  • The ability to interject (or at least enjoy) wholesome humor when surrounded by a tense, heated situation

From Proverbs 15:13:  “A glad heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is broken.”

Monday Memories: Honey Tree

Today’s memory changes up a bit.  Instead of a previously published poem, here is a short story from May, 2019.  It is an example of micro fiction (with 115 words).  Enjoy!

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A famished black bear rummages through the thick, overgrown forest.  His endless appetite resembles a midnight thief raiding the fridge for a sweet tasting snack.

His ravenous mood brings him to an ancient tree trunk, containing a large opening.  The tree might as well display a flashing sign:  HONEY!

The bear’s sweet tooth needs to be satisfied, but before he can explore further . . . a warning signal vibrates through the inside of the tree.

The colony of honeybees has been notified that an intruder has arrived at their honey factory:  HONEY ALERT! 

A swarm of bees flies into attack position.  The lead striker says, “We have the target in sight.” 

GO!    GO!    GO!

 

Monday Memories: Sweetest Dream

This updated poem was first-published in March, 2019.  Every day I accept the personal challenge to follow a healthy lifestyle in managing my blood glucose levels.  With proper exercise, eating right, and taking medications, I have been able to succeed.  I sometimes use humor as a tool to keep myself motivated, and writing this poem serves this purpose.

three assorted donuts with milk

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Sleeping at night brings pleasurable dreams my way

Dreaming of sugar-filled treats most every single day

 

Tasting a doughnut filled with vanilla cream

Allowing my sweet tooth to sample a dream

 

Advising the doughnut to vanish and scamper away

Appearing next, freshly baked cookies wish to stay

 

Smelling the melted chocolate and cookie dough

Rolling over, my taste buds scream out to know

 

Dashing dreams of cookies, a delicious pie arrives

Looking at coconut cream is a mammoth surprise

 

Tossing in bed, my mouth anticipates the sweetest taste

Cruising into my dream, appears a cake—freshly baked

 

Licking my lips, velvety-rich chocolate cake will be my fate

Sampling the moisture-rich texture seems a perfect mate

 

Closing my fantasy suddenly, my mind stirs awake

Remembering to manage my sugars is no mistake

 

Envisioning so many tantalizing, indulging treats

Controlling sugar levels will be a bitter-filled feat

bakery baking cake chocolate

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Bennett Cerf Quotes

woman sitting beside man on wooden bench

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An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have.  The older she gets the more interested he in her.

Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don’t recognize you.

Haiku Series #73 (Humor)

Silver Spoon

College admissions

“Your grades are lousy my boy”—

Rich father . . . you’re in!

abundance achievement bank banknotes

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Safe Bet

Typewriter works

May be quite old-fashioned, but—

It’s never been hacked!

black vintage typewriter

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No Fun

Sorry Reginald

Social studies doesn’t mean—

Facebook or Twitter

apple applications apps cell phone

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Monday Memories: Time on the Road

two men inside moving vehicle

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Aging a bit and hoping to keep my driving days alive

I cannot help it, but laugh at how my troubles thrive

 

Driving on a dark, blackened road with high beams on

No dimming headlights, because I was singing a song

 

Driving on an icy road, too slippery for my car to fly

The windshield wipers shout and say, “Dumb Guy!”

 

Driving a bit too fast through a school zone

Sorry officer, at least I wasn’t on my phone

 

Creeping on a crowded freeway, feeling more like mice

Listening to car horns blaring out loud, never very nice

 

Navigating through a minefield of treacherous potholes

Pulling over to find a tire flattened from a massive hole

 

Driving home at the end of a long day, without even a grin

Stuck in slow, crawling commuter traffic, please not again

 

Parking at last, stress-filled driving finished for today

Hoping travels go a whole lot better, on the next day

cars stuck on traffic

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Monday Memories: Just Checking In

man in white dress shirt sitting on black rolling chair while facing black computer set and smiling

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Sending a priority email to my boss an hour ago

A quick reply would be prized as time is my foe

 

Facing an ever-approaching deadline

The pressure is building—not so fine!

 

Writing one more email might do the trick

“Just checking in” doesn’t sound so slick

 

Hearing no reply yet, by the middle afternoon

Would another email bring an answer soon?

 

Sensing desperation as the clock winds down

Frustration fills my heart with a gloomy frown

 

Composing again—Sorry, but I must persist

“Just checking in” again, I must clearly insist

 

Receiving an email, which is long overdue

An automated message comes to my view

 

Using “Just checking in” as the subject line

These three words “really” are never fine!

man in white shirt sitting on chair

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