Driving, late for work
Checking gas gauge, “On empty!”
Who used this car last?
Under surveillance
Comedian out of work—
Stealing one more joke
Morning exercise
Topped-off coffee cup ready—
Pumping caffeine curls
Grandpa and his six-year old grandson were having a lively discussion about television technology, and Grandpa was quite amazed with the young lad’s knowledge.
His grandson continued to rattle off how modern television works with services such as Netflix, Hulu, YouTube, and a few others. Grandpa was still plugged into his cable contract, and he was content to stay there. He knew next to nothing about these television streaming services.
As their time was wrapping up, Grandpa remembered something he had stored in the basement. Together, the two of them went down into the drafty and dark subterranean warehouse, which was filled with so many of Grandpa’s treasures. Grandpa enjoyed showing many of them to his grandson.
In the far corner was an old television set. Its time was long gone, but it still owned some real estate in the basement.
Grandpa asked his grandson a question, “Have you ever seen television rabbit ears?”
His grandson replied, “No, how did they work?” Grandpa had ignited his curiosity again.
Reaching into a box behind the ancient TV, Grandpa pulled out the simple looking rabbit ears.
His smiling grandson was ready to see what would happen next. He said, “Wow Grandpa! How did you wear those rabbit ears?”
Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?
Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
Samuel Clemens (1835-1910), better know by his pen name of Mark Twain, is often recognized as one of America’s greatest humorists. Novelist and writer William Faulkner called him the “father of American literature.” While he was in California in 1865, his literary skills struck gold with the story of “The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County.”
When he turned 60 years of age, Pete received his Golden Buckeye card in the mail. Being officially granted “senior” status wasn’t all that he expected.
He really hadn’t put his card to use. Quite frankly, he had forgotten about the card. It was still hiding in his wallet, not much worse off than when it arrived in the mail.
One day, Pete wondered, “I don’t look and feel too bad.” After all, he still walked outdoors and bicycled indoors. He was in fairly good shape, so he thought.
Then his 80th birthday showed up, quite unannounced and definitely without any fanfare.
He guessed that everyone must be waiting to give him a rocking chair in a few years when his horsepower finally runs out.
The next morning, Pete looked into the mirror and told himself, “I’m not ready yet!”
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com
Dusty top of the kitchen fridge
No worries about cleaning
Unless . . .
Taller guests come to play bridge
Windshield wipers, broken and worn
Needing to be replaced
But never . . .
Attempt when rain becomes airborne
Congested and overmatched table
Keeping life healthy and in order
Looking like . . .
Walgreens, filled with pill labels
Remembering school days past
Time to take another test
Pausing . . .
Hoping the “ditto” smell will last
Self-driving cars, soon to be the craze
Sitting in one, with perplexed look
Pondering . . .
Will the back seat driver be unfazed?
Raiding the freezer for a midnight snack
Hunger disrupts blissful sleep
What’s this . . .
Cookie Dough ice cream has been hijacked
Installing a terrific app on her “hip” phone
Grandson helps his Grandma out
Meanwhile . . .
With his flip phone, Grandpa feels quite alone
Finding a parking spot is tonight’s mission
Free valet parking
Guaranteed . . .
When you drive a manual transmission
So many toilet paper choices and sizes
What ever happened to having just one?
Confusing . . .
Mega and Super Mega waiting in disguise
Enjoying a late night film on television
Fearful of falling asleep
Always prepared . . .
Setting an alarm, allows for night vision
Reading and proofreading, reading once more
Retired English teacher
Never satisfied . . .
Writing a “perfect” text with words to adore
If you have enjoyed this bit of fun
Wait for the next round
When . . .
Doughnuts and coffee for everyone
Photo by Alfredo Alvarado on Pexels.com
Originally published March, 2020.
Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
Do not put off till tomorrow what you can the day after tomorrow.
Alphonse Allais (1954-1905) was a French writer, journalist, and humorist. Much of his poetry was crafted with a playful and amusing nature.
Viewing cooking shows
Watching, yet never taste test—
Counting calories
Pushing shopping cart
Faster than flashy Corvette—
Speed up–kids at play!
Gifted three-year old
Earning Phi Beta Kappa—
Reading picture books
The annual county fair wraps up most of its activities on Saturday, and the PRCA rodeo highlights the day’s events.
Professional cowboys travel to this small town every August in search of top prize money as they show off their skills. However, the real adventure and fun arrives at the end of the rodeo competition.
Every year the Wild Horse Ride wraps up the afternoon. Gathering from the area’s farms and ranches come “wannabe” cowboys.
The goal for each rider is to mount a horse and ride around the race track. It’s winner-takes-all at the finish line.
The riders are divided up into teams, and each team consists of two other individuals. The mugger controls the untamed horse’s head so it cannot rear back. The shanker holds the lead rope so the wild horse doesn’t run away. The rider is left to saddle the anxious horse and race it.
As the announcer starts up the competition, a mad scramble commences as each team frantically works together. One rider, LeRoy, is the first to saddle and mount his overly aggressive horse. He turns his horse around and heads to the race track, well ahead of the other riders.
However, there remains one big problem. LeRoy’s mount is galloping in the opposite direction around the track, and he will never be able to turn the horse around. The crowd roars with laughter at LeRoy’s dilemma.
To this day, many rodeo goers still remember “Wrong Way” LeRoy!
Pete lines up his tee shot on the first hole. Will his golf game be up to par?
He takes his stance, and his graceful and controlled swing looks perfect. Well it should; after all, it was just his warm-up swing.
Swinging for real, Pete’s tee shot flies away and looks to be splitting the fairway right down the middle. Suddenly, the golf ball changes direction as its speed shatters the sound barrier . . . hooking and hooking, left and more left!
Through the fairway.
Into the backyard of a home, sitting along the fairway’s left rough.
This tee shot looks hungry to score.
Through the kitchen window.
Right into Fred’s morning “Cup of Joe.”
Filled with a swagger and some pumped up jazz, Pete wanders up to the kitchen window and peers inside.
He confidently asks Fred, “Do you mind if I play through?”
Puzzled, Fred looks down at the golf ball swimming in his cup of fresh brewed coffee. Without saying a word, he seems to be singing the blues!
Originally published July, 2020.
Photo by Anastasiya Gepp on Pexels.com
Waiting for its urgent call
Winter’s snow waiting to strike
Where is winter hosting fun?
Playing games in the Klondike
School children watch outside
Dreaming of a snow day soon
School’s steady beat marches on
Soon, everyone sings a new tune
Weather forecast predicts snow
Snowplows prepare for battle
But, this storm slides to the north
Hmm, snow dumps on Seattle!
Outside, waiting for a call
Snow shovel dreams of snowfall
Originally published January, 2020.
Big Sky Buckeye 