Icy Caper

person holding ice cream with cone

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Police issue an “All-Points Bulletin” in a flash.  The local jewelry store has been robbed by an elderly man dressed in a white suit.  Patrol cars frantically scurry here and there—no luck!

Detective Joe Friday joins the hunt.  His crime-solving skills are legendary.  He always reminds each interviewee, “Just give me the facts.”

Driving down a quiet residential street, Friday spies a white ice cream vending cart on a corner.  Selling ice cream treats to the neighborhood children, the gray-haired man hands out love and more.

Pulling up behind the cart, the renowned detective surveys the scene.  Calling on his car’s radio for back-up, he knows he can’t wait.  The last of the children walks away with their frozen, sweet treats.

Approaching the man in the white suit, Friday pulls out his gold detective shield.  With a confident voice and a smile, he asks, “Do you happen to have something ‘hot’ on ice today?”

Monday Memories: Cat With a Fiddle

Here is another edition of Monday Memories, where Big Sky Buckeye brings back a previous post from months ago.  Today’s poem was written back in October, 2018, and the content has been updated just a bit.  Enjoy some fun with this short, yet humorous poem.

brown and black abstract painting

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Down the road skips the cat with the fiddle

Singing and playing, but ready with a riddle

 

Feeling happy and joyous on a sunny morn

Always looking at his life without any scorn

 

Passing by, a child asks the friendly cat

Why don’t you trade that fiddle for a bat

 

Replying back, a bat was used many years in the past

Playing as a member of a regretfully bad baseball cast

 

Leaving a life on the ball diamond without a smile

Skipping to an exciting destiny to walk many a mile

 

Now days are filled with music and merry vibes

Feel free to join me on my journey and be alive

 

Catchin’ a Flick

architecture bluebird theatre building cinema

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Pete visits the local movie theater one night to catch one of his favorite animated films, “The Road Runner Meets Bugs Bunny.”

He hasn’t been to the old theater for several years because he is usually in bed early each night.  He’s pleasantly surprised to find the old, uncomfortable chairs have been replaced with loungers.

The film begins promptly, and Pete finds an extra comfortable lounger smack dab in the middle of the theater—a perfect seat!  He places his extra-large diet cola in a convenient cup holder while holding a jumbo tub of seasoned, buttered popcorn on his lap.

The film continues for the next 90 minutes or so, and the theater is filled with hilarious laughter except for one patron.  As the movie ends, the house lights are turned up, and the audience exits.

A young usher walks up to Pete, still snoring and catchin’ some winks.  His popcorn is scattered all over the floor as the tub has fallen from his lap.

The boy taps him on the shoulder, “Sir, the movie is over.”

Haiku Series #19 (Humor)

Good Morning

 Hey you, wake-up man

It’s Monday morning, again—

Hit the snooze, repeat!

alarm alarm clock analogue clock

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

Traffic Jam

 Cars backed up on road

What’s holding up traffic now?

Pair of geese fighting

car side mirror showing heavy traffic

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Confused

 Home of the Whopper

Welcome to your Burger King—

What’s with the tacos?

person showing taco with parsley on top

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Monday Memories: Tasty Chocolate Bar

two chocolate bars on top of brown wooden table

Photo by Marta Dzedyshko on Pexels.com

Waking up too early, in quite a wretched fickle

Checking my coins, cannot even find a nickel

 

Spending my last bit of change last night

For a delicious Hershey bar, my delight

 

Taking a long, relaxing walk in the woods

Then finding myself farther than I should

 

Stopping to snack on a sweet Hershey bar

I realize that my journey has gone too far

 

Suddenly from behind a cluster of pine trees

Comes something much, much bigger than me

 

A hungry black bear scampers towards me

I flee the scene at a harried pace, you see

 

The famished bear welcomes a tasty, sweet treat

For my yummy chocolate bar has fallen at his feet

zoo bear

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Experience Counts

fishing landscape nature man

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Traveling back to Montana, Phil and Phyllis arrive from back East.  They’ve brought their teenage grandson along to fish the Gallatin River.

Staying at the Rainbow Ranch, they plan to fly fish right along the river, which runs along the property.  The Ranch employs a fishing guide during the summer months.  Bert knows all of the best spots to fish on the Gallatin, and he is always bragging about his fishing prowess.  As he always reminds people, “experience counts.”

Complaining under his breath, Bert takes the trio of fishing pilgrims to the river.  He always frowns upon city folks who come out to the Gallatin to fish.  All novices . . . they have no clue about fishing a river.

Bert sets up Phil and his grandson, and they begin making tentative casts on to the river.  Each has fished very little, and their inexperience offers a bit of amusement to Bert.

Meanwhile, Phyllis moves down the river a few paces from Bert.  She shouts out to Bert, “I wonder who will catch the first fish?”

Bert replies, “A piece of ‘rainbow trout’ cake my dear!”

Bert begins to cast several times with little luck, not even a bite.  He glances down the river bank at Phyllis, and reminds himself he has plenty of time to catch the “first” fish.

Phyllis spies a perfect hole in front of two rocks.  She casts her line perfectly into her chosen spot.  Hmm, Bert didn’t even see her awesome cast because he is too busy with his own fishing.

Strike!

Phyllis’ line goes taut.  She has a “granddaddy” rainbow trout hooked on her line.

Bert looks over at her with dismay.  Phyllis laughs and continues reeling in her prize catch.  Calling over to Bert, she shouts, “Experience counts, you know.”

As she lands a hefty, beautiful rainbow trout in the tall grass along the river bank, she tells Bert more of her story, “I fished these same waters years ago as a little girl.  My daddy taught me well.  I practically grew up on this river.”

Bert realizes he has been had.  If he does catch a trout today, it will likely taste more like crow.

 

Morning Blues

close up photo of teal digital clock

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My alarm clock thunders awake

How rude!  No peace you make

 

Monday arrives in its callous way

Why can’t the weekend just stay?

 

The snooze button enjoys a workout

Will be late for work, never any doubt

 

Stirring now, just barely able to see

The week ahead, won’t find me free

 

Turning on the shower with haste

Cold water freezes a tender face

 

Monday morning honestly, is no pleasure

Definitely feeling humble, without treasure

 

Tying my shoes causes scant joy

Breaking a shoelace now, oh boy!

 

No time for coffee or anything to eat

Planning a Starbucks stop for a treat

 

Starting the car and seeing a worry

Low fuel gauge adds to heated fury

 

Stopping quick-like for fuel on the run

This Monday doesn’t look like any fun

 

Driving like a crazy man on the road

Pulling into an empty lot, no one told

 

This Monday is a holiday, no work today

Why didn’t anyone remind me and say?

 

Could have slept in, you mindless fool

Being forgetful, honestly ain’t too cool

photography of parking lot

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Normally, I am an early riser in the morning.  So this poem doesn’t apply to me very often.  When I was teaching in a small Montana town years ago, we had a day off on the school calendar.  I  happened to be going into my building in the morning to catch up on some work.  What should drive up?  You would never guess.  A school bus!  Earl had dutifully driven his morning bus route, and the bus was, of course, empty.   I still laugh about this.