Under the shade of a massive oak tree, Fred relaxes in his backyard hammock while enjoying a perfect summer afternoon.
A slight, friendly breeze helps to keep the bugs away, and Fred always thinks better when he spends time in his comfortable hammock. He looks up into the canopy of branches in the tree above, and his eyes begin following an intensely busy squirrel which is scurrying back and forth . . . back and forth.
Fred’s thoughts begin to wander as he imagines his own creation of the “perfect” treadmill. While his model will have the usual cup holder, he will add a necessary tray for his pepperoni pizza.
Thinking . . . How can a person calculate how much wood a woodchuck could chuck, if he could really chuck wood?
Worried about an upcoming family reunion, he recalls telling his close friend, Wally, “How will I remember all of their names?”
Wally confidently replies, “Easy, just call everyone ‘cousin.’”
Remembering his granddaughter’s wedding reception last summer, he asks his wife, Doris, to dance. He tells her, “They’re playing our favorite song.”
It takes the couple a little longer to arrive on the dance floor, and the song is nearly half over. Fred calls out to the DJ, “Play it again Sam!”
Several minutes go by. The “always in a hurry” squirrel pauses and thinks to himself, “What is that noise?”
Looking down, he spies Fred blissfully sleeping and dreaming, and his loud snoring serenades the entire backyard with . . . well, almost charming tunes.
Originally published March, 2020.