Student’s Script (Haiku Series #348)

Life’s New Spin

Uncertainty stirs

School bell rings with excitement–

Hello Mister Hink

Courtesy of Pinterest.

This Haiku honors my sixth grade teacher, Mr. Hink.  (The photo isn’t him, but he always wore a tie)

 

Time to Buckle Down

Listening to tunes

“Please put your device away”—

Back in the saddle

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What’s the Big Rush?

“Hurry Doug, hurry”

Yellow bus driving away—

“My record’s perfect”

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Monday Memories: Nothing Pursues Something

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Half-empty coffee cup

Hoping to find something

Peering down, never up

Searching darkened nothing

 

“Seinfeld” gathers awards

Endless shows with nothing

Jerry’s name on billboards

He’s caught on to something

 

Writing with empty words

Dreams filling with something

Missing all the keywords

Amounting to nothing

 

Scanning digital files

Words lost, dreading nothing

Writer facing trials

Mining life for something

 

Photo on dusty perch

Triggers newfound something

Memories begin search

Looking beyond nothing

 

Nothing pursues something

Something subdues nothing

 

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The American sitcom “Seinfeld” entertained viewers for nine years with the creative humor of comedian Jerry Seinfeld.  With a setting in New York City, the cast featured regulars Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jason Alexander, and Michael Richards.  The success of the show has often been referenced to a “show about nothing.”

Here is a short clip from the show, featuring Jerry Seinfeld with guest star Brad Garrett.  The scene is titled “You barely know your car.”

Originally published October, 2020.

Just Another Day (Haiku Series #319)

Hoop’s March Madness

Witnessing upsets

“Cinderella” storylines–

Underdogs rise up

Lessons from Dad

Time for spring cleaning

Hey son, use more elbow grease—

Ouch . . . tennis elbow!

Missing Link

 Humor striking out

“Generation Gap” witnessed—

Dad’s jokes falling flat

All images courtesy of Pinterest.

Monday Memories: Endless Race

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Running on this daily treadmill, filling life’s gloomy story

Falling behind in life’s endless race, without much glory

 

Working Nine to Five, five long days each week

Stumbling through every month, looking bleak

 

Forgetting when life last paused for any vacation

Punching in, punching out . . . time clock fixation

 

Heating up life’s pressure cooker, deadlines loom ahead

Hoping the lid doesn’t blow off, propelled into tiny shreds

 

Watching everyone trying to row in the same boat

Rowing in separate directions, now barely afloat

 

Refueling the tank, this coffee break no longer helps

Scurrying on empty, might just as well holler a yelp

 

Taking the elevator to another miserable meeting

Ending up on the wrong floor, no warm greeting

 

Driving home each night, worn down to a blown-out frazzle

Stopping at the same red traffic light, it no longer dazzles

 

Racing every day, life delivering this hour’s final, saving grace

Looking left, then right . . . who’s even winning this rat race?

 

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Originally published September, 2020.

Tuesday’s Funnies (Haiku Series #222)

Dad on the Run

Driving, late for work

Checking gas gauge, “On empty!”

Who used this car last?

Photo by Erik Mclean on Pexels.com

Arresting Humor

Under surveillance

Comedian out of work—

Stealing one more joke

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Staying in Shape

Morning exercise

Topped-off coffee cup ready—

Pumping caffeine curls

Photo by Bianca Gasparoto on Pexels.com

Writin’ and Wonderin’

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Writin’ these silly words

Beginnin’ to brew smiles

Fillin’ summer’s catchwords

Drivin’ another mile

 

Farmin’ at Green Acres

Dreamin’ of somethin’ new

Watchin’ for rainmakers

Joinin’ this harvest crew

 

Drinkin’ up coffee’s vibes

Entertainin’ new thoughts

Takin’ what life prescribes

Tyin’ self up in knots

 

Washin’ up them dishes

Knowin’ life ain’t so great

Fishin’ for new wishes

Singin’ with cool George Strait

 

Thankin’ all for stayin’

Readin’ poetic rhyme

Goin’ without sayin’

Wonderin’ ‘bout next time

 

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Just Singin’

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New day callin’ now

Raisin’ one eyebrow

 

Shiftin’ sticky clutch

Steps seem out of touch

 

Life makin’ no sense

Ain’t got fifty cents

 

Sittin’ on life’s bench

Rain comes, just to drench

 

Losin’ track of time

Life’s lemons and limes

 

Prices skyrocket

Jean’s empty pockets

 

Life’s newest gamble

Fallin’ to shambles

 

Lookin’ down dark road

Map’s secret, stealth code

 

Life’s hollow grand slam

Cold toast without jam

 

Missin’ mornin’ snooze

Just singin’ life’s blues

 

Dreamin’—yes I am

Life’s final exam

 

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While crafting this poem, thoughts went back to hearing American singer and songwriter Roger Miller performing his classic, award-winning hit song, “King of the Road.”  Here is a taste of his unique talent.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4c7D0YsgnrE

You Don’t Say!

Few people have heard of the famous naturalist and wildlife photographer William Xavier Knox.  His life has been one amazing adventure of finding the unexplored, the unexplained, and the unusual.  Billy’s dreams have become quite legendary.

A few winters ago, Billy survived a scrap with a polar snake up in the Great White North.  He had been hoping to finally capture a picture of the elusive Arctic snake crossing the frozen tundra.  Instead, he nearly fell to his death in a large crevice in the ice.  Fortunately for Billy, his pick axe held firmly while he pulled himself up to safety.

Emulating some of his shutterbug heroes, Billy harbors hopes of becoming a revered wildlife photographer.  With his treasured camera, he is still waiting to capture that “once in a lifetime” shot.

None of Billy’s photography has been published yet.  He relies on “word of mouth” to carry the message of his work.  After all, he figures this is the best approach because he doesn’t want people stampeding into nature’s quiet landscapes.

Unfortunately, few people have met up with Billy.  Even fewer people have ever heard of this almost forgotten wildlife photographer.  Nonetheless, he has huge plans for the future of his work.

A determined Billy is currently traveling across the eastern third of the “Cowboy State” of Wyoming.  The upper plateau and plains are home to many exotic animals. 

A freak of nature, this fearsome critter has never been captured on film.  A cross between a jack rabbit and an antelope has produced a mysterious creature called a Jackalope.  Unfortunately for Billy, someone else has successfully photographed this Jackalope a few days ago.  All Billy can say is, “Geez, another one got away!”

Billy’s next appointment takes him to the Pacific Northwest.  He plans to search the thick rainforests of the mountains for the elusive Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus.

As Billy arrives in the area, he is informed that a website already features his prized target.  When interviewed, Billy disappointedly explains, “Why am I always coming in second when trying to capture these prizes of nature?”

A young girl shows Billy the link to the website:  https://zapatopi.net/treeoctopus/

Winking at him and smiling, she smartly asks Billy, “Do you really believe in these odd species of nature?”

Billy pauses and thinks for a second or two before smiling back, “Well, if I didn’t, there goes my photography career.  Right down into my musty basement, filled with old photographs.”

Billy’s mind is beginning to stir to semi-consciousness.  A gloomy vision clouds his mind, and he begins to wrestle with it.

He is busy photographing school children across the country for those dreaded school portraits.  Someone adds, “You’ll know when he has reached your school.  Just look for his personalized license plate:  CRZYPCS.”

Waking up from his long, overnight nap, a sleepy-eyed Billy wanders out into the kitchen of his family’s Wyoming ranch house.  His grandfather is browsing a book, and he welcomes Billy to their usual morning time together. 

Grandfather asks, “How did you sleep young man?” 

“Just terrible!” replies Billy as he rubs his ten-year old eyes.  “I had a horrible dream about being a school photographer.  You know . . . the one who takes those awful photos for school yearbooks and student portrait packets to send home.”

His grandfather pauses and places the book on the table, “You don’t say!” 

Billy glances at the book, and he smiles up at the author of the book, William Xavier Knox.  His grandfather is a world-renowned wildlife photographer.

Writing ‘the’ Book

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Writing becomes treasured hobby

Writing ‘the’ book, will anyone read?

Writing each hour, quitting day job

Writing chapters with epic speed

 

Waiting for magic, keyboard sleeps

Waiting for inspiration’s nudge

Waiting for publisher to call

Waiting for something bold, oh fudge!

 

Overlooking advice from friends

Overlooking cover’s design

Overlooking shrinking cash flow

Overlooking final deadline

 

Spending phantom cash, much too fast

Spending less and less time writing

Spending more and more time dreaming

Spending months on nothing exciting

 

Pushing aside all of these thoughts

Focusing on fresh start at hand

Crafting poetry, something new

Writing ‘the’ book, no longer planned

 

Photo by Suzy Hazelwood on Pexels.com

Monday Memories: Do You Ever Wonder?

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Receiving as a birthday gift a FitBit

Does it really get used or just sit?

 

Spending millions on ceaseless health care television ads

Why do rising drug prices make me feel like I’ve been had?

 

Eating at a restaurant that advertises a menu of “real good” food

Will someone explain the meaning of “good” to change my mood?

 

Hearing “Have a Holly, Jolly Christmas” again on the radio

Did I really see singer Burl Ives caroling out in the snow?

 

Watching commercials with animals who talk

When is enough really enough before I walk?

 

Viewing yet another rerun television show

Would anyone care if I played my banjo?

 

Finding tiny pill box in my small travel bag

Why does a missing pill want to play tag?

 

Seeing country music stars dressed up with extra glamorous glitz

Does anyone remember “Hee-Haw” and Roy Clark’s guitar blitz?

 

Reading a label on the side effects of my newest meds

How would I really know about being allergic instead?

 

Standing below the mistletoe on a freezing winter night

When was the last time anyone was kissed in its sight?

 

Hiding quietly in corner of hodgepodge clutter’s garage

Why is new bicycle hiding behind junk’s camouflage?

 

Frustrating political ads, insulting my common sense

Honestly, do I need to feel that dimwitted and dense?

 

Assembling an “easy to build” children’s playground

Do the leftover parts mean that my work is sound?

 

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