Going my own way
Choosing forgotten shortcut—
Hi orange barrels
Kitchen remodeled
Finest cuisine’s postponement—
Searching for new chef
Tricycle’s flight plan
Set to take-off from driveway—
Grounded by mother
All images courtesy of Pinterest.
It’s a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water.
A characteristic of the normal child is that he doesn’t act that way very often.
Franklin P. Jones (1908-1980) was an American writer and humorist. He became well-known for his witty and insightful reflections about life.
Daily, reserved seat
Focused on another hour—
Game show fanatic
Exhausting workweek
Looking forward to weekend—
Sleeping through big plans
Vacation’s first day
RV takes turn for the worse—
Sidelined for repairs
Elizabeth is flying in coach seating on her way to Minnesota. She occupies the window seat, and a quiet gentleman has been sleeping in the aisle seat.
The flight attendant offers her refreshment and a snack. She selects a diet Coke and a bag of peanuts. The attendant graciously leaves her the entire can.
As the plane nears its destination, Elizabeth begins to clean up her tray table. There is a little bit of Coke left in the can, and she pushes her empty peanut bag inside of it.
WARNING!
KIDS DON’T TRY THIS WITHOUT ADULT SUPERVISION!
Inside of the can, a surprise chemical reaction is taking place as the salt in the peanut bag mixes with the Coke.
Without warning, Elizabeth experiences Mount Vesuvius at 30,000 feet. Her little napkin is all she has to snuff out the volcano before disaster covers her lap.
What will she do?
Glancing to her right, she spies a blanket covering the sleeping gentleman.
Originally published August, 2020.
I think of myself as the “Top Cat” around this house. Mr. and Mrs. Wynter brought me home from a shelter about two years ago. They love skiing up on the big mountain, and they adore their cats even more . . . with one exception.
Me!! Yes, you got it. I always seem to be in trouble around here. My female cousins, Sky and Birdie, are treated like royalty. Can you imagine two cats being treated like a pair of princesses?
Well . . . I want to tell you my side of the story.
My given name is Revel, which isn’t such as bad name. While Sky is sometimes curious and Birdie is shy, I love the adventure of roaming and exploring the house.
A few days ago, I am in the garage with Mr. Wynter. He doesn’t seem to notice me as I glide along the garage door rails high above the floor. I can be quite the acrobat while walking this tightrope.
I enjoy chasing and teasing my cousins, especially Birdie. She is so timid, but she doesn’t seem to mind it when I am pulling a chunk of hair from her back. I have a cool collection of her hair stashed under the bed in the spare bedroom. Mr. and Mrs. Wynter haven’t vacuumed there for months.
Sky likes to pull open drawers in just about any room. I encourage her to open as many as possible. When she’s finished, I move in and pull objects out of the drawer with my mouth. It’s so much fun to leave a mess in every room of the house.
When Mr. and Mrs. Wynter eat dinner, I join them by jumping up on the dining table. They become easily annoyed with me so I have to be quick to jump back down to the floor. It’s sort of like playing “cat and mouse.”
Last week, I helped Mrs. Wynter do some baking. When she would turn her back, I would jump up on the kitchen counter. Have you ever seen a cloud of sifted flour float through the air?
It seems that everyone in the house has grown tired of my adventures. They call it mischief.
Oh my! The life of a “Top Cat” needs to be an exciting venture.
Last night, I climbed up on a bookshelf high above the master bedroom floor. There was a pot with a houseplant in it. I just couldn’t help myself. I pulled and pulled with my teeth and claws until most of the plant and dirt flew out and landed on the bed.
I guess I may have gone a bit too far this time. Mr. and Mrs. Wynter have been dressing me today in a prison outfit, complete with black and white stripes. I look more like a convict instead of a “Top Cat.”
Snickering at my unfortunate circumstances, Sky and Birdie now call me Rebel.
My youngest daughter and her husband provide a home for three rescued kittens (now full-grown cats). Revel, Sky, and Birdie enjoy their new home. And yes, Revel does have his moments. The photos of Revel were taken by my daughter.
Originally published November, 2020.
In life, as in football, you won’t go far unless you know where the goalposts are.
A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be doing down.
Arnold H. Glasow (1905-1998) was an American author and humorist. He was a regular contributor to the humor sections found in Reader’s Digest.
Little Johnny hurried down the sidewalk. Catching his breath upon reaching his school bus stop, he waited and waited.
Soon his fate began sinking in. He had missed the bus . . . again!
The warm and sunny morning invited him to walk across the street to a park. Curious and feeling playful, he explored and enjoyed some spontaneous fun. Readin’ and writin’ and rithmetic could wait a spell.
Minutes turned into a couple of hours. Feeling hungry, Johnny discovered a perfect hideout under a nearby pine tree. He pulled out his brown bag lunch.
Following a quick lunch, he felt a bit sleepy. Fresh air, plenty of exercise, and a filling lunch made him drowsy. Curling up under the tree, Johnny was soon snoozing on a bed of soft needles.
Stirring awake, the noise of his rickety school bus shuttling down the street reminded him that school was over for another day.
Upon reaching his house, Johnny’s loving mother met him at the door. Her stern-looking frown told him to watch out . . . caught again!
Originally published March, 2021.
Penny for your thoughts
Never making any cents—
Hiding at the Mint
Searching for Waldo
Children offer countless tips—
Another dead-end
Seeking attention
Feeling burdened, overwhelmed—
PC’s open tabs
Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) was an American poet and writer. Much of her writing features a satirist’s view of the world. Based in New York City, her wit found a home in her writing.
Day’s vacuuming
Collecting family’s dirt—
Household spy network
No joy this morning
Chicken late crossing the road—
Breakfast’s eggs . . . uncracked!
Umpire on his phone
Never missing any calls—
Each instant replay
Big Sky Buckeye 