Restaurant breakfast
Cheese omelet, fruit, and coffee—
Where is my rye toast?
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Winning touchdown scores
Crowd celebrates victory—
Oops . . . penalty flag!
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Jogging down the street
Young child sprints by me and waves—
Totally humbled!
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Oh, Brother!
Sometimes people look at me in a sort of puzzlin’ way
They just don’t appreciate my approach to each day
Through their eyes, I must be an utter red-neck
They fail to understand my life, not one lil’ speck
Some say I have an accent when speakin’
Darn if I know, I’m just talkin’ and seekin’
Before I digress too much further, let’s see
I live in America, lookin’ always to be free
My Daddy taught me the major differences in life
Between right and wrong, always love one’s wife
My Mommy shared her love of nature’s delights
Her bountiful garden, with colors always bright
Growin’ up in an awfully small, yet welcome place
Life remain’ balanced and gentle, a relaxin’ pace
Joinin’ the U.S. Navy at the earliest possible age
Livin’ on an aircraft carrier, like workin’ in a cage
Comin’ ashore to meet a lady for a date
Becomin’ my lovely wife and first mate
Receivin’ a degree with honors from Silage Tech
Not regrettin’ my time there, never wantin’ to fret
My best friends live and labor on farms and ranches
We hook-up on Saturday nights for fun-filled dances
Livin’ in the countryside, but drivin’ to my job in town
People say I’ve been too busy, never makin’ a sound
Can’t they see who’s followin’ me down the walk
Two lil’ youngins, brothers lovin’ to play and talk
My two boys, Pete and Re-Pete, makin’ me proud
Even when their horseplay gets a tiny bit too loud
Oh, Brother!
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“The freezer will be full of meat this winter,” Pete tells his skeptical wife as he heads to the mountains for his annual elk hunting trip.
Montana’s Big Hole Valley offers some of the best elk habitat in America. Pete has been preparing for his fall elk hunting trip over the summer, and he plans to bag a large bull elk this fall to fill up the home’s deep freeze with delicious and tasty elk meat.
In scouting the mountains, Pete knows exactly where the elk will be when he returns for bow hunting season. Armed with his very effective and precise compound bow, he knows success is just one accurate shot away.
Hiking into the mountains, Pete stakes out a familiar area and waits quietly in the tall grass and brush. The anticipation builds as his body stays on high alert. The nervous tension only adds to the anxiousness of the hunt.
Suddenly, an enormous bull elk wanders through the trail, just as Pete expects. His position provides a nearly perfect angle and distance. He takes careful aim with his bow, pulling it back with careful precision.
Plummeting to the ground with a groaning thud goes Pete!
The arrow flies harmlessly into the trees. Pete’s shoulder has popped out, and the throbbing sting is excruciating. He rolls around on the ground in acute pain.
Deliberately and triumphantly walking past the stricken bow hunter, the elk looks down at him with a slightly confident look as if to say, “I guess your freezer will be empty again this winter.”
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Only in America
Selling garages and yards—
A curious sight
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Yummy pie awaits
My sugar angel arrives—
Absolutely, no pie!
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My morning coffee
Deliciously mountain grown—
Good to the last drop
Giving credit to
Folgers and Maxwell House
coffee brands.
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Police issue an “All-Points Bulletin” in a flash. The local jewelry store has been robbed by an elderly man dressed in a white suit. Patrol cars frantically scurry here and there—no luck!
Detective Joe Friday joins the hunt. His crime-solving skills are legendary. He always reminds each interviewee, “Just give me the facts.”
Driving down a quiet residential street, Friday spies a white ice cream vending cart on a corner. Selling ice cream treats to the neighborhood children, the gray-haired man hands out love and more.
Pulling up behind the cart, the renowned detective surveys the scene. Calling on his car’s radio for back-up, he knows he can’t wait. The last of the children walks away with their frozen, sweet treats.
Approaching the man in the white suit, Friday pulls out his gold detective shield. With a confident voice and a smile, he asks, “Do you happen to have something ‘hot’ on ice today?”
Here is another edition of Monday Memories, where Big Sky Buckeye brings back a previous post from months ago. Today’s poem was written back in October, 2018, and the content has been updated just a bit. Enjoy some fun with this short, yet humorous poem.
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Down the road skips the cat with the fiddle
Singing and playing, but ready with a riddle
Feeling happy and joyous on a sunny morn
Always looking at his life without any scorn
Passing by, a child asks the friendly cat
Why don’t you trade that fiddle for a bat
Replying back, a bat was used many years in the past
Playing as a member of a regretfully bad baseball cast
Leaving a life on the ball diamond without a smile
Skipping to an exciting destiny to walk many a mile
Now days are filled with music and merry vibes
Feel free to join me on my journey and be alive
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Pete visits the local movie theater one night to catch one of his favorite animated films, “The Road Runner Meets Bugs Bunny.”
He hasn’t been to the old theater for several years because he is usually in bed early each night. He’s pleasantly surprised to find the old, uncomfortable chairs have been replaced with loungers.
The film begins promptly, and Pete finds an extra comfortable lounger smack dab in the middle of the theater—a perfect seat! He places his extra-large diet cola in a convenient cup holder while holding a jumbo tub of seasoned, buttered popcorn on his lap.
The film continues for the next 90 minutes or so, and the theater is filled with hilarious laughter except for one patron. As the movie ends, the house lights are turned up, and the audience exits.
A young usher walks up to Pete, still snoring and catchin’ some winks. His popcorn is scattered all over the floor as the tub has fallen from his lap.
The boy taps him on the shoulder, “Sir, the movie is over.”
Hey you, wake-up man
It’s Monday morning, again—
Hit the snooze, repeat!
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Cars backed up on road
What’s holding up traffic now?
Pair of geese fighting
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Home of the Whopper
Welcome to your Burger King—
What’s with the tacos?
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Waking up too early, in quite a wretched fickle
Checking my coins, cannot even find a nickel
Spending my last bit of change last night
For a delicious Hershey bar, my delight
Taking a long, relaxing walk in the woods
Then finding myself farther than I should
Stopping to snack on a sweet Hershey bar
I realize that my journey has gone too far
Suddenly from behind a cluster of pine trees
Comes something much, much bigger than me
A hungry black bear scampers towards me
I flee the scene at a harried pace, you see
The famished bear welcomes a tasty, sweet treat
For my yummy chocolate bar has fallen at his feet
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Traveling back to Montana, Phil and Phyllis arrive from back East. They’ve brought their teenage grandson along to fish the Gallatin River.
Staying at the Rainbow Ranch, they plan to fly fish right along the river, which runs adjacent to the property. The Ranch employs a fishing guide during the summer months. Bert knows all of the best spots to fish on the Gallatin, and he is always bragging about his fishing prowess. As he always reminds people, “experience counts.”
Complaining under his breath, Bert takes the trio of fishing pilgrims to the river. He always frowns upon city folks who come out to the Gallatin to fish. Mumbling under his breath, “All novices . . . they have no clue about fishing a river.”
Bert sets up Phil and his grandson, and they begin making tentative casts on to the river. Each has fished very little, and their inexperience offers a bit of amusement for Bert.
Meanwhile, Phyllis moves down the river a few paces from Bert. She calls out to Bert, “I wonder who will catch the first fish?”
Bert replies, “A piece of ‘rainbow trout’ cake my dear!”
Bert begins to cast several times with little luck, not even a bite. He glances down the river bank at Phyllis, and reminds himself he has plenty of time to catch the “first” fish.
Phyllis spies a perfect hole in front of two rocks. She casts her line perfectly into her chosen spot. Hmm, Bert didn’t even see her awesome cast because he is too busy with his own fishing.
Strike!
Phyllis’ line goes taut. She has a “granddaddy” rainbow trout hooked on her line.
Bert looks over at her with dismay. Phyllis laughs and continues reeling in her prize catch. Glancing over at Bert, she shouts, “Experience counts, you know.”
As she lands a hefty, beautiful rainbow trout in the tall grass along the river bank, she tells Bert more of her story, “I fished these same waters years ago as a little girl. My daddy taught me well. I practically grew up on this river.”
Bert realizes he has been had. If he does catch a trout today, it will likely taste more like crow.
Big Sky Buckeye 