Being retired, my days are usually filled with plenty of leisure time.  But even the best laid-out plans can suffer from a surprise.

Arriving in the afternoon mail is a registered letter from the local school district.  Hmm, I wonder what they want with me.

In examining the letter, my usual fun-loving outlook fades while reading each sentence.  My school transcript shows that I didn’t complete Kindergarten. 

My goodness!  I’m 66 years old and a grandfather.  What gives here?

I’ve been instructed to show up on the first day of school at Central Heights Elementary School (my alma mater). 

The following Monday, I am in the classroom . . . not exactly eager to be here.  I look around the room at the tiny tables and even smaller chairs.  How am I going to be able to sit in these?

Suddenly, I spy a much bigger chair in front of a colorful rug on the floor.  I sit down while the rest of the class comes rumbling in from the playground.  Their voices raise the roof with all of their morning energy.  I guess that they’ve been fed with extra sugar, oh my!

The teacher, Mrs. Meissner, makes her dramatic entrance.  A piercing whistle quiets down the class.  I am already feeling a migraine headache approaching.

Mrs. Meissner walks over and motions me to sit in a much smaller chair.  Are you kidding? 

Later in the morning, she directs the class to sit on the colorful rug.  Everyone sits “Indian” style with both legs crossed.  I am somehow able to sit in this yoga position, but I can feel my muscles already cramping up.

As she sits in the adult-sized chair, she reads a story to the class about what Kindergarten will be like.  As she reads, she inserts each student’s name into the plot.  I keep listening for my name, but the story ends without a single mention of yours truly. 

As the day continues, we (the students and I) practice how to walk in straight lines to the restroom and the cafeteria.  We also are reminded to keep our hands to ourselves and to speak with soft voices.

The school bell rings at dismissal time.  The youngsters eagerly and safely board their busses for their ride home. 

I stand at the curb and wait for my granddaughter to pick me up.  My car is being serviced at the garage as it needs a 100,000 mile checkup. 

After just one day of Kindergarten, I feel like my body needs an immediate check.  Rubbing my aching lower back, I am thinking of scheduling a chiropractic exam as soon as possible. 

I finally reach home, and there is another registered letter waiting for me.  Tearing the envelope open, I find that the school board has ruled on my appeal.  I am no longer required to attend Kindergarten.  Hooray, no more back to school for me!

Inside the envelope is an application for employment with the school district.  They are looking for additional staff since there is shortage of Kindergarten teachers for this school year.